Sunday, March 16, 2014

TRAUMATISING-HUMILIATING PARENTS माँ बाप की दुर्गति करना

TRAUMATISING-HUMILIATING PARENTS माँ बाप की दुर्गति करना 
CONCEPTS & EXTRACTS IN HINDUISM By :: Pt. Santosh  Bhardwaj  
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Delhi High court has ruled that the son can not claim his right over the property built by his parents through their earnings. He is over the mercy of his parents in the house. The children are ill treating the parents and often expel them from their property, acquired with their hard earned money.[30.11.2016]
Shri Vidya Bhushan separated his four sons one by one from him. In the end only Rajesh was left with him at D-463 Harijan Basti, Palam extension, Delhi. He was happy that he had a "Chhota Pariwar-Sukhi Pariwar". On 18th December 2001 a sudden phone call dragged his elder sons to medical Institute. He was admitted there for injuries in the forehead. Doctors said that for a short while he gained consciousness and stated that he was struck by his son Rajesh who had admitted him there with the wall. The doctors mentioned this in the admission card clearly. Rajesh wept before him when he regained consciousness for a short while and requested him repeated to be forgiven, repeatedly. Doctors referred him to Lohia hospital due to for shortage of beds. He died soon thereafter being critically injured. He was cremated and the next day Rajesh took possession of all his belongings. A plot of land measuring 120 yards, gold, silver and the house; he had built himself with his savings and selling another house at Raj Nagar and a plot of land at Jyoti Nagar east. The market value of that house at current market rate is Rs. 15 crore and the plot is worth one crore rupees. Rajesh had earlier tried to kill his father by pouring kerosene oil over him. Rajesh took Rs. 2,00,000 from him and purchased a Bharat Gas out let in his own name. He never shied in removing 4.2 kg gas from every cylinder.He turned into a black marketeer who was never caught by bribing police and Bharat gas officials. At the age of 18, he was involved in the murder of a boy. He developed contacts with the criminals of the area soon, while dealing in property. [27.09.2016]
Samir Sharma of New friends Colony sold the house fraudulently without his mothers permission and started living in a rented house. After a few days he turned his mother out of the house. An FIR has been registered in the concerned police station.[28.09.2016]
Incidences-instances of traumatising parents are on the rise. The life of the retired parents is turned into a hell by the unreasonable-ever increasing demands  and high-phi style of living, leading  to the desire of extracting money from the parents. Motive behind this is to make the parents helpless and dependent over them for their smallest possible needs. The daughter in law, is the main culprit-tool, behind the sordid affair of things supported by her patents. The son forces the parents to transfer their property-valuables in his name or  to sell it and hand over the money to him. In case one resists his moves and does not surrender to their plans-designs, he draws his end closer. He may be murdered by the brutal son. Any  one, who witness him doing so, may face the same fate. As usual the police will come only when some feels the stench and inform them.
The safety-liberty-freedom of parents is at stake. The society should wake up to undo the the mischief of the married couple which has perhaps forgotten that what they are doing with their parents is the prescription-recipe for themselves as well. In a welfare society it's the duty of the government to look at these problems, ensure protection-safeguard of the aged-frail parents and prevent their exploitation. What if the protector  himself turn hostile?
इन कार्यों को करने वाले दुरात्मा शायद ये भूल जाते हैं कि उनकी औलाद भी यह सब देख रही है। उनका स्वयं का क्या हश्र होगा, वे खुद भी नहीं जानते! ऐसी औलाद से बे औलाद अच्छा! यह दूसरी बात है कि बच्चे को पालने में उसे सुखानुभूति हुई।  यह कलयुग और कर्मों का असर नहीं तो और क्या है ? 
उन्होंने पाला-पोसा, खुद दुःख-परेशानी झेली-परन्तु तुम्हारे ऊपर आंच भी नहीं आने दी। खुद भूखे रहे तुम्हें पेट भर के खिलाया। तुम्हें पढ़ाने, मकान बनाने, तुम्हारी शादी के लिए कर्ज लिया, क्या तुमने उसे लौटाने में मदद की। अपना पेट तो कुत्ता भी भर लेता है। मनुष्य और पशु का अंतर यहीं पता चलता है। घरवाली को इतना भी सर पे मत चढाओ कि तुम्हारे माँ बाप की दुर्गत कर दे। घरवाली को प्यार करो मगर, माँ-बाप की इज्जत और प्यार दोनों करो। घरवाली को बता दो कि उसके भी माँ बाप हैं, अगर उनके साथ भी दुर्व्यवहार जाये, तो कैसा लगेगा? या फिर उसी के साथ भी ऐसा किया जाये तो क्या होगा ?
1. The  son has his own house and still does vacate the house owns by the father-a retired Chief Justice. Perturbed father is forced to seek the help of Police. (Punjab)
2. 93 year old father, who is  in extremely bad health conditions, owning the house, is chained like a dog and put under a shade over the roof by the two younger sons. Neighbors sought the intervention of police  and the father wish to be sent to old age home.(Bangalore)
3. It has been revealed that more than 23% of the elderly people are abused across India. Senior citizens had reported disrespect, verbal abuse, neglect and beating/slapping. As many as 70% of cases go un reported because of the fear of retaliation (39%), maintaining confidentiality of family matter(33%). [ New Delhi]
4. Rajesh an employee of UP roadways, chained his father Kirpal Singh (50-Years) inside the road ways office for 7 days. He was kept hungry besides thrashing.  The son thrashed for going to see a mela (-मेला)-fare. Local residents and drivers rescued him when the employees were on strike.{Hapur-UP}
5. The elderly rights law, enacted in China says that the "adults should  take care of their parent's psychological needs and never neglect or snub the elderly people". The law falls short of specifying punishment for violator. (Beijing)
6. Old people need family support and care but with the nuclear family becoming the norm and continuous migration of people, they are constantly marginalised and isolated. Emotional,  social, financial, medical and legal security structures are becoming weak, leading to denial of their human rights.[16.08.2013]
7. Bal Mukund Sharma 78, had to fight out a battle in the court for 3 years to regain entry in his own house built him self. The notorious son used to beat him to transfer the house in his name. Son is the main perpetrator of abuse 34% followed by the daughter in law 24%. [Delhi 18.09.2013]
8. India ranks 73rd in elderly care, with Sweden on the first place, followed by Norway, Germany, Netherlands and Canada and the USA languishing at the 8th place.
9. Govt. of Maharashtr is enacting law to ensure parental care by the children.
10. The 38 years old son Lal Kamal, from the first wife of a retired army captain hired contract killer for Rs. 50 lakhs,  to acquire his property worth Rs.2 crore, which the man was planning to transfer in the name of his second wife and the daughter from her. The son had earlier sold some of the property at Chandni Chowk  without the consent of his father. [Delhi:10.11.2013]
11. FIR has been lodged against a younger son, who had fraudulently cheated his father of his property and fixed deposits, when the 83 years old resident of sector-52 Noida, moved the court. He had no expectation from either of his sons.The accused sold his mothers jewelry and heckled him. The old man lived with his physically challenged daughter. Both the sons live in Noida. [02.02.2014]
12. Ajay Aggarwal 74, is residing in the Vasant Kunj home for the abandoned and homeless, for 8 days nursing a broken hip and suspected fractured legs from a road accident in Solan. He used to own a factory in Faridabad, which was sold by his wife and children through a fake power of attorney. His only hope now rest with his cousin Lord Swraj Paul, whom he last met in 1975.[Delhi 01.03.2014]
Lord Swraj Paul, has responded to the blues of the man in disaster and promised to settle the matter through negotiations by meeting the aggrieved's family. Aggrawal has decided to take legal steps to recover hos lost property.
13. Rachel Canning, 18 considered to be good at studies, residing with her friend, sued her parents to pay for her school fees, attorneys fees, college tuition fees and left home because her mother said that she was fat and porky, leading her to suffer from bulimia. She was adamant at not listening to her parents and ignoring domestic discipline. Twitterights called her stupid-idiot-meanbiatch; advising her parents to kick her out. It may that her friends father-a lawyer, might have some grudge-ill will against her father-a police man. She is 18 and can earn her living, why should the parents pay for such a heartless-ruthless-brainless child!?[Washington-06.03.2014] 
(14) Virender 22 an unemployed youth, of north-west Delhi killed his father Gopal Tiwari from Bihar for being rebuked-scolded. Tiwari said that he will not give him any share from his property. The hot headed injured his mother as well. He was caught by the mother and handed over to the police.[02.09.2014]
(15) Abhinav 38, hit his 65 old father Subhash Baweja on the head, strangled him with a towel and burnt his body in his car in Delhi, due to rage. He wanted his father to sell off his house and give the money to him to start business. The murder was carried in cold blood and each and every effort was made to destroy proof. [30.05.2015]
(16). An 85 year old woman was thrashed by her 60 year old daughter in Delhi. Provocation comes from not transferring property to the descendants, during their life time and old age-crippling-helplessness. Remedy-prevention lies in approaching police which can book the culprit-guilty under section 125(B) of CRPC or dial 1291 (senior citizen cell number). Fear of back lash and social stigma prevents the elderly from reporting abuse. As a matter of fact the youth did not see his parents serving or helping their grand parents and still worst they saw their parents ill treating their own parents. बोया पेड़ बबूल का तो आम कहाँ से खाय?! As you sow so shall you reap. [16.06.2016]
SON पुत्र :: हिन्दु चाहता है कि उसके घर में पुत्र का जन्म हो, ताकि पितरों को पानी देने वाला हो जाये-उसका श्राद्ध करने वाला हो, वंश आगे बढ़े, अन्यथा पुत्र हो पुत्री, कुछ भी फर्क नहीं पड़ता। आज के समय में पिता की देखभाल पुत्री ज्यादा करती है, क्योंकि पिता से उसका स्वभाविक लगाव होता है। माँ का स्वभाविक लगाव पुत्र से ज्यादा  होता है।पिता चाहता है कि उसका वारिस हो, संपत्ति की देखभाल, बढ़ोतरी, इस्तेमाल करने वाला हो-न कि खाने-उड़ाने, बर्बाद करने वाला। पुत्र को आज्ञाकारी, समझदार, धार्मिक, बुद्धिमान, चिंतनशील, विचारवान, शालीन, कुशाग्र बुद्धि, ईमानदार, भरोसे के लायक, सहनशील, प्रगतिशील, आध्यात्मिक होना चाहिये। शास्त्रों में पुत्र को पिता की आत्मा-स्वरुप कहा गया है। 
कलयुग में पुत्र का स्वरूप ऐसा होगा, यह कहना संभव नहीं है। 
फिर भी उम्मीद पर दुनियां कायम है।
हमें श्रवण कुमार की चाहत नहीं करनी चाहिये, क्योंकि उसके लिए हमें अँधा होना पड़ेगा और पुत्र को तथा स्वयं अपने को भी अकाल मृत्यु का सामना करना पड़ेगा।
राम जैसे पुत्र की कामना, पुत्र को वनवास व स्वयं को मृत्यु प्रदान करेगी। 
You channelized all your energies to bring him up. You kept yourself busy to earn money to give him the best  possible within your limits-capacity-capabilities. But the boy complains that he was not loved by you. His indulgence in undesirable activities made you weep till midnight, a number of times. Still you kept him supporting, what for ?  What was it love-duty-responsibility-liability ? He does not listen to you-he does not bother about you-he is arrogant-disobedient and still you say he is your son ? He has left you unprotected-he is keen to extract money out of your meager resources, still you are sympathetic about him ? You  still care for his needs.  You always try to cover his misdeeds. He lives a lavish life and you do not have sufficient money for your day to day needs, yet you think that one day or the other he will change! Don't you know he is married now and is governed by his wife and the in laws ? This is a character of Kalyug-present cosmic era/age.
Come out of illusion. Learn to live-survive of your own. Still, you have caliber potency to maintain your self. Do not look to him for help. He is not eager to help you. Make a will, so that your wife remains financially independent, after you.
One should be practical and self reliant. This is the need of the hour.
जो लड़के अपने पिता-पिता एवं गुरु की उचित आज्ञा का उल्लंघन करते हैं उन्हें पीव, विष्ठा एवं मूत्र से भरे अप्रतिष्ठ नमक नरक में मुँह नीचे करके डुबाया जाता है। [श्री वामन पुराण ]
RETIREMENT :: One is going to retire from active service. He will get some money in the form of provident fund, pensionery benefits, depending upon the length of service and salary. He had been saving for the lean period as well. He did his bit to discharge all his responsibilities. Being wise enough, he built a house for him self and the family-dependants. He did all that which is essential for a household-family dweller.
He may or may not have enjoyed comforts but being young, he was able to face all challenges, illness, poverty, troubles, tensions, difficulties in life. He did not run away from his responsibilities. Now its going to face a phase in his life, when he is old, weak-fragile, in need of help-attention from the children.
The present day climate aided by desires-greed-motives-ambitions, drives  his children away from home. There are the children who never grew up to need of the hour or achieve success. They may remain dependent over him. At occasions greed and desires make the children-relatives, to snatch every thing from him and turn him out of his house, leading to begging-asylums-old age homes at the mercy of the government, charity organisations. There is not even a single  day when one do not learn-hear-read the torturous experiences-nightmares-horrifying stories of the old and fragile parents. Those who were grown up with a lot of affection-attention-care turn into vultures-parasites, never recognising the fact they too are going to face the same agony from the hands of their children.
There are cases where the old and retired people avail reverse mortgage of their property-which too is not advisable at this stage. One must have sufficient money to face any crisis-eventuality. He must write a will as well, in such a way that in the event of his death, his wife has not to dependent over the children for money at least, forget care-nurture-help. The children should not be able to sell the property, till his wife is surviving. However he should ensure that all his savings-money-property goes to the children uniformly-none of the children should be able to acquire-pocket it, alone.
Hindus considers this as the third phase of life called as VAN PRASTH, followed by SANYAS. With the advent of KALI YUG the fourth cosmic era, in which its really very very difficult to follow the code of conduct, which is mainly meant for the sacred Brahmns.
It is extremely difficult to kill time. Though there are many activities in which one can engage himself. Its very common to find one glued to TV-INTERNET, but how long!?
One should get up normally and go for a morning walk before taking mild physical exercise-Yog. Meals should be reduced. Tea-coffee should be within the permissible limits. One may find interest in scriptures-epics-stories. One finds people idealling away their time playing cards or gossip. Some people gather together and try to help each other listening to others difficulties and suggesting ways and means to come out of trouble-difficulty. Their tensions-loneliness is reduced considerably. One should completely stop intake of meat products-wine-smoking etc. as a precautionary measure. Outings-travel may also help a lot as far as possible, if health permits. If possible, skip night meals-dinner.
Try to remain tension free as far as possible. Go for medical check up as and when need arises. Still regular medical check up, is helpful. Devote more and more time to prayers-rituals-helping others. Be pious-honest-truthful-free from passions-sensualities-sexuality.
Never try to depend over your son-children, especially daughters. If you try to depend upon your daughter, you are bound to spoil her family life. Try to remain independent as for as possible, don't become a burden over others.
TWELVE TYPES/CATEGORIES OF SONS: Aurous, kshetraj, duttak, kratrim, gudhotpann and apviddh. They may be considered as the ones who will perform last rites, look after deceased's wealth-property-revenue dealings, equality in the use of surname-family title, family trade-practices-profession and prestige.
Other than these six more categories are there: kanin, sgodh, kreet, punarbhav, swam dutt,and parshav. They are only for the name sake and are not treated at par as far as family name-title are concerned.
1. Aurous: Reproduced by oneself through socially accepted-recognized marriage.
2. Kshetraj: Reproduced by the wife from other suitable person with the consent of the husband, without involvement of lust-sexuality-sensuality-passion, when the husband becomes impotent  insane, addicted. This practice is still prevalent in India and is called NIYOG PRATHA.
3. Duttak: A child adopted by the parents is called Duttak. No gifts, donations, money transactions are made in lieu of the child's adoption. 4. Krtrim (-artificial): A child handed over by a friend or his son, some eminent/enlightened person is kratrim.
5. Gudh: A child about whom no one knows that who brought him into the family fold-house.
6. Apviddh: Child brought one himself from out side-elsewhere.
7. Kanin: A child born out of an unmarried girl.
8. Sgodh: A child born out of a pregnant girl after marriage.
9. Kreet: A child bought after by paying money.
10. Punarbhav: He may be of two types (I) The son born out of the daughter/girl married to one person and snatched from him and married to some one else. The child born from the first person-husband.after the child is born. (II) The girl is married to one person, snatched forcibly and married to some one else. The child is born from the second husband-person.
11. Swaym Dutt: If a person/child offers himself to a person due to famine/drought  or some unavoidable circumstances due to the scarcity of food grain-eatables-money, he is swaym dutt.
12. Parshv: A child born of a Shudr  married-unmarried girl by a Brahmn.
बारह प्रकार के पुत्र :: औरस, क्षेत्रज, दत्त, कृत्रिम, गूढोत्पन्न और अपविद्ध-ये छ: पुत्रों से ऋण, पिण्ड, धन की क्रिया, गोत्र साम्य, कुल वृति और प्रतिष्ठा रहती है।
इनके अतिरिक्त कानीन, सगोढ़, क्रीत, पौनर्भव, स्वयं दत्त और पार्शव-इनके द्वारा ऋण एवं पिंड आदि का कार्य नहीं होता-ये केवल नामधारी होते हैं व गोत्र एवं कुल से सम्मत नहीं होते।(1). औरस: अपने द्वारा उत्पन्न किया गया पुत्र।
(2). क्षेत्रज: पति के नपुंसक, पागल-उन्मत्त या व्यसनी होने पर उसकी आज्ञा से काम वासना रहित पत्नी द्वारा उत्पन्न पुत्र।
(3). दत्तक: गोद लिया हुआ, माता-पिता द्वारा दूसरे को दिया गया-इसके एवज में कोई धन-अनुग्रह-प्रतिकार नहीं प्राप्त किया गया हो। 
(4). कृत्रिम: श्रेष्ठजन, मित्र के पुत्र और मित्र द्वारा दिए गया पुत्र।
(5). गूढ़: वह पुत्र जिसके विषय में यह ज्ञान न हो कि वह  गृह में किसके द्वारा लाया गया।
(6). अपविद्ध: बाहर से स्वयं लाया गया पुत्र।
(7). कानीन: कुँवारी कन्या से उत्पन्न पुत्र।
(8). सगोढ़: गर्भिणी कन्या से विवाह के बाद उत्पन्न पुत्र।
(9). क्रीत: मूल्य देकर ख़रीदा गया पुत्र।
(10). पुनर्भव: यह दो प्रकार का होता है-एक कन्या को एक पति के हाथ में देकर पुन: उससे छीन कर दूसरे के हाथ में देने से जो पुत्र उत्पन्न होता है।
(11). स्वयंदत्त: दुर्भिक्षव्यसन या किसी अन्य कारण से जो स्वयं को किसी अन्य के हाथ में सोंप दे।
(12). पार्शव: व्याही गई या क्वाँरी अविवाहिता शूद्रा के गर्भ से ब्राह्मण का पुत्र। 

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